Moving...
Can't talk...
*runs and starts packing*
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Thoughts on Gradschool (Part 4 of Many)
Events of late have made me ponder my existence as a graduate student at the University of Minnesota. In my opinion, I have been failing most splendidly at adopting the life of a grad student. Granted, the flooding in my office and other events in my life have not helped, but I can't use that as an excuse. I must be willing to devote myself entirely to my research. I must be willing to spend all day, every day, in my office, at my computer, working. Thinking about new ideas... developing new software... forgetting about friends and fun and food.
For the first month or so of this semester, I have rarely spent a full day in my office. A full day to me involves coming in during the morning, before a first class, and staying until at least dinner time. Last semester, I was in my office (not including class time) from approximately 9 or 10 am to 9 or 10 pm. Full day, me working... not necessarily enjoyable, but that was mostly because I'd forget to bring food.
I dunno. Is this a sign? Do I really not feel attached to my work? Do I even belong in graduate school? My classes frustrate me, my adviser pisses me off, my research is going nowhere... *sigh*
I apologize to blog readers for this rant.
I need to get my head on straight and decide what the fuck I am doing. And soon...
For the first month or so of this semester, I have rarely spent a full day in my office. A full day to me involves coming in during the morning, before a first class, and staying until at least dinner time. Last semester, I was in my office (not including class time) from approximately 9 or 10 am to 9 or 10 pm. Full day, me working... not necessarily enjoyable, but that was mostly because I'd forget to bring food.
I dunno. Is this a sign? Do I really not feel attached to my work? Do I even belong in graduate school? My classes frustrate me, my adviser pisses me off, my research is going nowhere... *sigh*
I apologize to blog readers for this rant.
I need to get my head on straight and decide what the fuck I am doing. And soon...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Thoughts on Grad School (Part 3 of Many)
*drum roll*
Introducing....
THE INVISIBLE ADVISER!
*symbol crash*
...ABLE TO ADVISE GRAD STUDENTS WITHOUT THEM EVER SETTING FOOT INSIDE HIS OFFICE!
*symbol crash*
...DROPPING DOUGLAS ADAMS REFERENCES WITHOUT BATTING AN EYE!
*begins kicking drums*
...CAPABLE ONLY OF COMMENTING ON FULL LaTeX DOCUMENTS WITH ENOUGH MERIT TO BE PUBLISHED!
*a foot goes through the bass drum*
...AGREEING TO GROUP MEETINGS ONLY WHEN AN ADVISEE HAS PROVEN TO HAVE IDEAS OF INTELLECTUAL MERIT AND IS WILLING TO PRESENT THEM!
*symbols crash to the floor*
...FAILING TO ADVISE. PERIOD!
Introducing....
THE INVISIBLE ADVISER!
*symbol crash*
...ABLE TO ADVISE GRAD STUDENTS WITHOUT THEM EVER SETTING FOOT INSIDE HIS OFFICE!
*symbol crash*
...DROPPING DOUGLAS ADAMS REFERENCES WITHOUT BATTING AN EYE!
*begins kicking drums*
...CAPABLE ONLY OF COMMENTING ON FULL LaTeX DOCUMENTS WITH ENOUGH MERIT TO BE PUBLISHED!
*a foot goes through the bass drum*
...AGREEING TO GROUP MEETINGS ONLY WHEN AN ADVISEE HAS PROVEN TO HAVE IDEAS OF INTELLECTUAL MERIT AND IS WILLING TO PRESENT THEM!
*symbols crash to the floor*
...FAILING TO ADVISE. PERIOD!
"To paraphrase Douglas Adams, you are not merely "professional thinkers"; you are research assistants -- paid to
think, yes, but also to translate these thoughts into publishable pages of LaTeX."
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Thoughts on Gradschool (Part 2 of Many)
It is currently 3pm CST. I just sat for HALF AN HOUR in the bowels of Walter library, waiting for my adviser to show up for our scheduled weekly meeting. No emails, no note, no phone call... Instead I plunked around on the internet in the weird reception area near his temporary office. Several weird looks were passed around and I eventually left, laptop in hand, head down.
I walked the stretch of half frozen pavement from Walter to the still-damaged EE/CSci building and made my way to the sixth floor. As soon as I sat at my computer, the professor that runs the lab in which I am temporarily stationed came in. He asked me about if I was going to switch advisers.
"If you were to assign a percentage to how likely you are going to switch advisers, what would it be?"
Probability. One of the many banes of my existence. Therefore, I feel I must make a pros and cons list, weight them accordingly, and come up with a real solid percentage estimate. After all, I am a scientist of sorts.
Unfortunately, I have several options. These include:
I walked the stretch of half frozen pavement from Walter to the still-damaged EE/CSci building and made my way to the sixth floor. As soon as I sat at my computer, the professor that runs the lab in which I am temporarily stationed came in. He asked me about if I was going to switch advisers.
"If you were to assign a percentage to how likely you are going to switch advisers, what would it be?"
Probability. One of the many banes of my existence. Therefore, I feel I must make a pros and cons list, weight them accordingly, and come up with a real solid percentage estimate. After all, I am a scientist of sorts.
Unfortunately, I have several options. These include:
- Continue to be a part of my adviser's lab and get a Ph.D.
- Continue to be a part of my adviser's lab and get a Masters
- Switch to another lab and get a Ph.D.
- Switch to another lab and get a Masters
- Transfer to Penn State and get a Ph.D.
- Transfer to Penn State and get a Masters
- Transfer to Penn State after getting a Masters and get a Ph.D.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Beck - Walls
I've seen Beck perform live... in fact, I saw him live before I was really into any of his work. This song is from the album Modern Guilt, which I believe is his most recent album. This song has been stuck in my head all day. I just love the instrumentation. Lyrics are pretty good too. Enjoy.
Beck- Walls
Some days we get a thrill in our brains
Some days it turns into malaise
You see your face in the veneer
Reflected on the surface of fear
Because you know we're better than that
But some days we're worse than you can imagine
And how am I supposed to live with that
With all these train wrecks coming at random
Hey what are you gonna do
When those walls are falling down
Falling down on you
Hey what are you gonna do
When those walls are falling down
Falling down on you
You got warheads stacked in the kitchen
You treat distraction like it's a religion
With a rattlesnake step in your rhythm
We do the best with the souls we've been given
Because you know we're nothing special to them
We're going some place they've already been
Trying to make sense of what they call wisdom
And this riff raff ain't laughing with them
Hey what are you gonna do
When those walls are falling down
Falling down on you
Hey what are you gonna do
When those walls are falling down
Falling down on you
Beck- Walls
Some days we get a thrill in our brains
Some days it turns into malaise
You see your face in the veneer
Reflected on the surface of fear
Because you know we're better than that
But some days we're worse than you can imagine
And how am I supposed to live with that
With all these train wrecks coming at random
Hey what are you gonna do
When those walls are falling down
Falling down on you
Hey what are you gonna do
When those walls are falling down
Falling down on you
You got warheads stacked in the kitchen
You treat distraction like it's a religion
With a rattlesnake step in your rhythm
We do the best with the souls we've been given
Because you know we're nothing special to them
We're going some place they've already been
Trying to make sense of what they call wisdom
And this riff raff ain't laughing with them
Hey what are you gonna do
When those walls are falling down
Falling down on you
Hey what are you gonna do
When those walls are falling down
Falling down on you
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Birthday, etc, etc.
Today is Valentine's Day. Have you had your allotted amount of chocolate today? I know I have. However, mine wasn't in the form of candies, but birthday cake.
That's right, it was my birthday two days ago. My mother got me the most delicious cake possible. Chocolate cake with bananas and cream cheese icing, all topped with ganache and fancy lettering. She also announced that she got me a gazelle (yes one of those horrible work out machines sold on the teevee) as a birthday present, but it has not come yet. Cake and work out machinery... oh mom.
I've had enough cake in the last few days. Tara, Whitney, and I baked six cakes on Tuesday. That's right six. Six boxes of cake mix, six pans, sick minds. Most people have seen the rainbow cake instructions that have been floating around the internet. I decided that was what I wanted to make. Three cakes were made with just coloring, and three cakes were made with coloring AND gelatin. Both kinds of cake were decidedly amazing. The gelatin cake did not have a cake-like consistency upon baking, but still was like eating gummy fruity pebbles. Mmm.
It was a hit at my Star Wars role playing group Thursday night. I supplied two cakes and a backpack full of hard liquor... both went over well. All-in-all, a very good birthday.
Hopefully my 24th year on the planet will be an eventful one. I'm going to be cliche and make a list of the things I accomplished in my 23rd year:
That's right, it was my birthday two days ago. My mother got me the most delicious cake possible. Chocolate cake with bananas and cream cheese icing, all topped with ganache and fancy lettering. She also announced that she got me a gazelle (yes one of those horrible work out machines sold on the teevee) as a birthday present, but it has not come yet. Cake and work out machinery... oh mom.
I've had enough cake in the last few days. Tara, Whitney, and I baked six cakes on Tuesday. That's right six. Six boxes of cake mix, six pans, sick minds. Most people have seen the rainbow cake instructions that have been floating around the internet. I decided that was what I wanted to make. Three cakes were made with just coloring, and three cakes were made with coloring AND gelatin. Both kinds of cake were decidedly amazing. The gelatin cake did not have a cake-like consistency upon baking, but still was like eating gummy fruity pebbles. Mmm.
It was a hit at my Star Wars role playing group Thursday night. I supplied two cakes and a backpack full of hard liquor... both went over well. All-in-all, a very good birthday.
Hopefully my 24th year on the planet will be an eventful one. I'm going to be cliche and make a list of the things I accomplished in my 23rd year:
- Graduated
- Quit my job
- Saw Andrew Bird and Tim and Eric
- Said goodbye to my grandpa
- Moved (twice)
- Got my ears pierced
- Went on a diet (successfully)
- Stopped playing WoW (and haven't picked it back up)
- Started grad school
- Broke up with Adam
- Went to a dance club (verdict: awful)
- Visited the power-spot
- Helped redecorate two rooms at my parents house
- ... can't think of any more right now
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Andrew Bird - The Happy Birthday Song
Had to post it. The best birthday song ever.
The Happy Birthday Song:
when i wake up
in the morning,
pour the coffee,
and i read the paper,
and i slowly,
and so softly,
i do the dishes.
i feed the fishes.
sing me happy birthday
sing it like it's going to be your last day.
like it's hallelujah,
don't let it just pass on through ya
it's a giant and long cliché,
and that's why i want you to sing it anyway
sing me happy birthday
'cause hell, what's it all about?
sing me happy birthday,
happy birthday.
it's gonna be your last day,
gonna be your last day.
sing me happy birthday,
happy birthday,
like it's going to be,
going to be your last day.
The Happy Birthday Song:
when i wake up
in the morning,
pour the coffee,
and i read the paper,
and i slowly,
and so softly,
i do the dishes.
i feed the fishes.
sing me happy birthday
sing it like it's going to be your last day.
like it's hallelujah,
don't let it just pass on through ya
it's a giant and long cliché,
and that's why i want you to sing it anyway
sing me happy birthday
'cause hell, what's it all about?
sing me happy birthday,
happy birthday.
it's gonna be your last day,
gonna be your last day.
sing me happy birthday,
happy birthday,
like it's going to be,
going to be your last day.
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