Department of Eagles - No one does it like you

I'm going to try to start updating here again. To get it started, I'm going to post A SONG! (imagine that)



Out in the morning come
You don't need to ask an alibi
And in the morning comes
You don't need to be so honest

And in the morning come
You don't need to ask an alibi
And in the morning comes
You don't need to breathe so easy

I laughed so hard I fell down
I cursed these lanes I walked on

No one does it like you
No one does it like you
I tried so hard
But no one does it like you
No one does it like you
But I tried so hard

I tried so hard
I tried so hard

The Heavy - Sixteen

Couldn't find the lyrics to this one.

For comparison, Screamin' Jay Hawkins:

(I think they actually sample from this)

Dirty Projectors - Cannibal Resource

Look around at everyone
Everyone looks alive and waiting
The wind is up, the stars out
The sun is calm, the light is fading
But we are

Still counting on cannibal resource
Ok, open your eyes
I think you're more than a terrified witness
Behind the arbitrary line

Can it ask a question?
Can it sing a melody?
Can it be interpreted?
Or is it more than what the eye can see?
Maybe not

Still counting on cannibal resource
Ok, open your eyes
I think you're more than a terrified witness
Behind the arbitrary line

I'm cyrin', I'm cryin'

Still counting on cannibal resource
Ok, open your eyes
I think you're more than a terrified witness
Behind the arbitrary line
The arbitrary line
The arbitrary line
The arbitrary line

Kasabian - Fire

Shake me into the night
And I'm an easy lover
Take me into the fight
And I'm an easy brother
And I'm on fire

Burn my sweet effigy
I'm a road runner
Spill my guts on a wheel
I wanna taste uh-huh
And I'm on fire
And I'm on fire

And I'm on fire...
(Im going, you tell me, I feel it, I say it
I'm heading back into the tunnel for my soul to burn)
And I'm on fire...
(I'm coming, you coming, no hiding, my feeling
I wanna take it to the highest over me, yeah...)
Whoo Whoo
Whoo Whoo

Wire me up to machines
I'll be your prisoner
Find it hard to believe
You are my murderer
I'm on fire behind you
Heads a fallen sky

And I'm on fire...
(Im going, you tell me, I feel it, I say it
[ Kasabian Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
I'm heading back into the tunnel for my soul to burn)
And I'm on fire...
(I'm coming, you coming, no hiding, my feeling
I wanna take it to the highest over me, yeah...)

And I'm on fire...
I'm on fire...

Move on, you got to move on
You got to hit 'em to the hip
And get your shake on

Move on, you got to move on
You got to hit 'em to the hip
And get your shake on

(I feel it, I want it, I'm coming, I tell ya, I caught the bullet from the heavens to the one you serve,
I'm going, I'm running, out to the highest love
I'm wanna hit you to the hip...

(I'm on fire...)
Move on, you got to move on
You got to hit 'em to the hip
And get your shake on

(I'm on fire...)
Move on, you got to move on
You got to hit 'em to the hip
And get your shake on

The feeling is mutual, but it still hurts.

I regret to say that I'm not willing to supervise you any more on
research projects.

Decisions, Decisions.

I need to decide what I'm doing for next fall. I received a renewal of my BICB traineeship, but am not going to be working with my "current" adviser next fall, so I let it expire. This means I'm crossing my fingers, toes, and hair for a TA position, although I was told it was "highly unlikely" that I'd receive one.

My options:
1. Get a TA position and continue school in the fall
-Decide whether to do a Ph.D. or a masters
2. Take out loans and push hard to finish a masters
3. Get a "real" job
4. Get an internship and work on a masters

In any case, it doesn't look like I'll be getting a Ph.D. unless I can find another adviser at the U that is willing to fund me. *sigh*

I need to go meet with a department adviser to give them my options. Maybe they can provide some real advice, or at least change my enrolled program to Master's. Otherwise, I am going to need to take the Ph.D. qualifying written exams (I posted about this previously).

Gotta get this figured out soon, it's already the end of July.

"Cat Call Coerces Can Opening" and Annoying Alliteration

Cat Call Coerces Can Opening

Seems like my cats are actually controlling me through high frequency purr-waves. My cats aren't all that demanding... but they do purr a lot. Hmm...

Summer's already half way over (or there abouts)

I can't believe it is already the middle of July. Where has my summer gone? My summer has gone to video games, working, and late nights with Moose. As he and I sat and talked about what was going on for the rest of the summer, we realized that the remainder of our weekends were booked... and there weren't very many of them.

July 18-19 : Duluth (possibly)
July 25-26 : Alexandria and Indiana
August 1-2 : ??
August 8-9 : AWOL LAN
August 15-16 : Dad's birthday, possible trip for Moose
August 22-23 : Tara's birthday, CALIFORNIA TRIP
August 29-30 : ??
September 5-6 : Gettin' ready for school
School starts: September 8th

This is, of course, assuming I am even going to school in the fall. Speaking of which, I need to figure that out. I received funding through BICB again, but that would mean I would have to work with my ex/current adviser. It seems he does not wish to work with me, and I am not exactly thrilled about possibly working with him again. Sometime next week, I need to speak to an adviser in the department about if I could finish a masters degree next school year. At least that way, I could have something to show for this year. I'll keep the internet posted.

In other news, I'm currently being tested for every ailment under the sun involving an upset stomach and dizziness. This includes intestinal parasites, anemia, and celiac disease. The general feeling right now is that I have some sort of gluten allergy. I'm not so sure anymore, but hopefully they discover something that can be treated. I'm tired of feeling sick to my stomach and like I can't string four words together to save my life. I *do* get to poop in a tube and bring it to the hospital :-p. Oh so looking forward to that.

Back to work, gotta make the moneyz.

Basement Jaxx - Raindrops

In a desert
You're standing
A silhouette
In motion

On the glory afternoons in June I need you
Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
You'll feel so good upon my lips
Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
Even though you're a million miles away

There's a space out there
And then when we can move

On the glory afternoons in June I need you
Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
You'll feel so good upon my lips
Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
Even though you're a million miles away
Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
You feel so good upon my lips
Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
Even though you're a million miles away

You taste so great, on my lips
You taste so good, on my lips
Your moisture drips upon my lips
Just like a waterfall, straight through the heart of me

Raindrops
Raindrops
Raindrops, raindrops
Raindrops, raindrops
Raindrops, raindrops

Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
You'll feel so good upon my lips
Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
Even though you're a million miles away
Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
You'll feel so good upon my lips
Just like raindrops (Just like raindrops)
Even though you're a million miles away

When I want you, I'll follow you
I'll follow you
When I want you, I'll follow you
I'll follow you

Phoenix - Lisztomania

So sentimental
Not sentimental no !
Romantic not disgusting yet
Darling I’m down and lonely
When with the fortunate only
I’ve been looking for something else
Do let do let do let jugulate do let do let do
Let’s go slowly, discouraged,
Distant from other interests
On your favorite weekend ending
This love’s for gentlemen only
That’s with the fortunate only
No I gotta be someone else
These days it comes it comes it comes it comes it comes and goes

Lisztomania
Think less but see it grow
Like a riot, like a riot, oh !
I’m not easily offended
It’s not hard to let it go
From a mess to the masses

Lisztomania
Think less but see it grow
Like a riot, like a riot, oh !
I’m not easily offended
It’s not hard to let it go
From a mess to the masses

Follow, misguide, stand still
Disgust, discourage
On this precious weekend ending
This love’s for gentlemen only
Wealthiest gentlemen only
And now that you’re lonely
Do let do let do let jugulate do let do let do

Let’s go slowly, discouraged,
We’ll burn the pictures instead
When it’s all over we can barely discuss
For one minute only
Not with the fortunate only
Thought it could have been something else
These days it comes it comes it comes it comes it comes and goes

Lisztomania
Think less but see it grow
Like a riot, like a riot, Oh !
I’m not easily offended
It’s not hard to let it go
From a mess to the masses

Lisztomania
Think less but see it grow
Like a riot, like a riot, Oh !
I’m not easily offended
It’s not hard to let it go
From a mess to the masses

Grizzly Bear - While You Wait For The Others

Another great song from Grizzly Bear's Veckatimest. I really need to buy this album.



while you wait for the others
to make it all worthwhile
all your useless pretensions
are weighing on my time
you could beg for forgiveness
as long as you like
or just wait out the evening
and always ask me why
yes you'll only leave me dry
so I'll ask you kindly to make your way

and what was there
the perfect glare
we all fall through

while you wait on the answers
that I'll pretend to find
keeping up with emotions
still occupies our time
you could hope for substance
as long as you like
or just wait out the evening
and always ask me why
yes you'll always ask me why
I'll ask you kindly to make your way

and what was left
the perfect glare
we all fall through

and all we want

and what was there
and what was there
and what wasn't there

Fowrhth

In case you missed it, the United States of America became an even older biddy than she was previously. 233 years have made this country fat and ugly. On Saturday, we decided to shoot fireworks in an attempt to whip up the energy to motivate America to get up, get dressed, and go look for a job.

Anyway I'll stop with that now. I went to Duluth for Independence Day. My friend Emily was in town, so she and roomie Kat joined me and Tara for a day at my parent's house. My dad cooked a wonderful smoked pork roast. Unfortunately, due to my newly discovered gluten allergy,** I am unable to eat barbecue sauce. So, ma decided we needed to run to the COOP (or as she says, "KWAP") to find some gluten free sauce. Half an hour later, we walked out with Peanut Butter Panda Puffs, Smorables, Cherry Cream Blue Sky, Frozen Gluten Free Flax Bread, a Lemon Angel Pie (imagine a lemon meringue pie with a meringue crust)... and no barbecue sauce. We got back to the house and drew aquatic animals on the driveway. Emily later drew a dragon. It's kind of her thing.

Duluth has amazing fun things to do on the fourth, including "Fourth Fest." This year, complete with a crappy traveling carnival. We ventured downtown and purchased copious amounts of candy and fried deliciousness (which I could not eat) and cat rubber ducks. Upon returning home, Destiny and Joe had arrived and it was time for food. I lit a candle for the year anniversary of my grandfather's death while we sat outside and watched Destiny play in a sled full of sand ("It's like a mobile sandbox" my mom exclaimed. "It's like sand from my trunk put into a sled you stole from me the year after I bought it" I corrected her. "Oh, you didn't need it anyway.")

Instead of watching the fireworks at the 'rents place, Em, Kat, Tara, Alyssa and I joined Alyssa's friends on the beach of Wisconsin Point. This is the stinky brother of Minnesota Point, more commonly known as Park Point in Duluth. You drive past a landfill on the way to the beach. Nothing can be more pleasant than that. Complete with a fire and a keg, we watched Duluth's apparent "SECOND MOST EXPENSIVE IN THE COUNTRY***" fireworks display. It wasn't very thrilling. The mortars shot above our heads by the fellow beach patrons were more exciting and better to watch.

We headed back to Minneapolis the following morning. No stay in Duluth is too short.

(**not yet tested by a medical professional)
(***as stated by my father, not verified at this point)

Mos Def - Casa Bey

Mos Def - "Casa Bey" - The Ecstatic - 6.9.09

The Aliens - Robot Man

Best song ever. Good album as well. Sounds a lot like The Beatles. I don't think I'll bother posting the lyrics to this one.

ZOMG. SOLID STATE QUANTUM PROCESSING.

ZOMG. SOLID STATE QUANTUM PROCESSING.

- * -

I haven't had a chance to read this yet, but I'll try to edit this blog post when I do.

The nerd-o-meter

I by no means condone this so-called nerd-o-meter but I will give you my score if you are interested.

Part one: knowledge and skills [computers] : 28pts

Part two: knowledge and skills [science]: 24 pts

Part two: knowledge and skills [math(s)]: 18 pts

Part three: lifestyle: 23 pts

Part four: nerd humour: 11 pts

Part five: others
Linguists: 9 pts (fail)
Philosophers: 8 pts (also fail)
Politics:6 pts (fail again)

GRAND TOTAL: 127 pts => 110 - level 5: Hardcore nerd. No time for a social life

Hot Minneapolis is Hot

I'm sitting here at my desk, drinking horrible soldier-themed coffee and eating generic Ritz crackers (they're not very Ritzy then are they) to stay awake. My work is an air conditioned, albeit plastic smelling paradise. It sometimes gets cold enough for me to wear a sweater. This is generally between cups of coffee, so we won't count it. In any case, I keep a sweater here for those occasions where I'm not drinking coffee.

I want to add a little bit of the air conditioned-ness and maybe some plastic smell to my house. Granted, I don't spend much time there these days. Between work (gone 7am to 4:30pm every week day) and spending time with Moose (<3<3<3<3<3), I generally only spend 2-3 hours a day at my house. My sister apparently feels like I no longer live there. HOWEVER, when I am at home, I am way too warm. I worry about my kitties overheating. I'd worry about Oscar as well, but he's not around right now (he's been in Duluth due to missing Henry and the 'rents). I'm not entirely sure how bunnies cope with heat, but being on the ground floor on the floor probably means Pepper is alright.

I want to buy a big-ass air conditioner. *peers off on the horizon, squinting, making sweeping gestures with her hands* It needs to be a big-un. Ten thousand... maybe twelve thousand BTU... whatever that stands for. I don't care enough to look it up even for this blog entry... Capable of somewhat cooling a small, three bedroom house... Allowing me to move my air conditioner into my bedroom so that I no longer have to sleep in inappropriate "clothing" if a manfriend or normal friend is staying over... It would be so sweet... I could make the house smell like plastic by attaching tiiinny little strands of duct tape on the fan output... they could waft in the delightful airy coolness of the hunk of metal and plastic designed to cool air... ahhh. *closes her eyes and sighs*

Hopefully I can get one. Every time I want to go look at a used one from Craigslist, it ends up selling before I can even look at it. I might be stuck dropping $300 on a new one. But damnit, it might be worth it at this point. 100 degree is unacceptable weather, Minneapolis. Damnit. Minneapolis, you should buy me an air conditioner if you're going to act like that. Watch out for my pimp hand.

Summer

Yesterday was the first day of summer.

Right now in Minneapolis, it is 91 degrees fahrenheit with a 10mph wind and a humidity of 54%. "Feels like 96 degrees fahrenheit."

Right now in Duluth, it is 61 degrees fahrenheit with a 6mph wind and a humidity of 94%. "Feels like 61 degrees fahrenheit."

Oh Duluth, I adore thee.

100,000 miles

Sometime today or tomorrow, my car will reach a major milestone.

100,000 miles.

It's been a little over two years since I purchased my car. I remember going to the memorial day car fair at the DECC in Duluth. I was in love with Volvos because of my good old 89 Volvo I affectionately named "Friddy." There happened to be a Volvo at this car fair. A beautiful black 1998 S70 with a turbo engine and a spoiler. I took it for a test drive and couldn't help feeling like I was driving a more responsive version of my semi-decrepit Friddy.

I told my dad about it. The first thing he asked was "Does it have a good stereo?" Which is, of course, the most important thing to consider when buying a car.

After having my dad's friend THE ENGINEER look at the car, he decided, through smacking lips, that I would have troubles with this car because of its age. I would be better off spending an additional four grand and get a brand new economy car.

My dad, of course, listens to THE ENGINEER and not to the reputation of Volvos, and of course our history with Friddy. (On another note THE ENGINEER purchased Friddy in a time of dire straits and drives her to this day... sans brakes)

Eventually, my dad decided I *should* have the speedy black Volvo with the eight speaker factory stereo system. He'd pay a down payment and six months of insurance. I would be responsible for the remaining $6000 and insurance, a bill of approximately $300 a month for the next five years.

I was excited. I had a car. I immediately had repairs and issues, but have been fairly lucky for the last two years. One of the original intents for my car (which still does not have a name) was a trip to the Boston area for Lemonic Demonade. This did not happen due to concerns about my transmission (this turned out to be a faulty oxygen sensor).

I've been nowhere exciting in my car. Unless you count the nearly bi-weekly trips to visit my parents, or trips to and from LAN parties, friends houses, and exotic restaurants. Right now it has been used to travel to and from my job. A 50+ round trip drive every day. It has quickly put the miles on my car.

When I purchased my car (please help me name it), it had approximately 75,000 miles. In two years I've put 25,000 miles on it. I hope to have it for a while longer, maybe for much longer. It doesn't get the best gas mileage or work entirely correctly, but it is dependable and damned sexy. Perhaps I'll keep it until I pay it off. Mayhaps by then Friddy will have failed THE ENGINEER and he will be looking for a new purchase.

Animal Collective - My Girls

My sister started singing this song one day when we were standing in the kitchen. She got it stuck in my head. I heard it last night in my car at about 11:45pm and this morning at about 7:10am (get some more sleep, Dri). Another hot band the current plays often.



Is it much that I feel I need
A solid soul and the blood I bleed
With a little girl, and by my spouse
I only want a proper house

I don't care for fancy things
Or to take part in a precious race
And children cry for the one who has
A real big heart and a father's grace

I don't mean to seem like I care about material things like a social status
I just want four walls and adobe slabs for my girls

Phoenix - 1901

Another song I like that I've heard on the current every day for the last two weeks. This band is peforming in Minneapolis on June 23rd... I might have to look into getting tickets.



Counting all different ideas drifting away
Past and present -- they don't matter.
Now the future's sorted out
Watch, you're moving in elliptical pattern
Think it's not what you say
What you say is way too complicated
For a minute thought I couldn't tell how to fall out.

It's 20 seconds 'til the last call, going "hey hey hey hey hey hey"
Lie down, you know it's easy like we did it all summer long
And I'll be anything you ask and more, going "hey hey hey hey hey hey"
It's not a miracle we needed, and no I wouldn't let you think so
Falling, falling, falling, falling

Girlfriend, you know your girlfriend's drifting away
Past and present, 1855-1901
Watch them build up a material tower
Think it's not gonna stay anyway
Think it's overrated
For a minute, thought I couldn't tell how to fall out

It's 20 seconds to the last call, going "hey hey hey hey hey"
Lie down, you know it's easy, like we did it all summer long
And I'll be anything you ask and more, going "hey hey hey hey hey"
It's not a miracle we needed, and no, I wouldn't let you think so
Falling, falling, falling, falling
Falling, falling, falling, falling

Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream

Another song I've been hearing on The Current. They have funny outfits.



How can I explain
Talking to myself
Will I see again

We are always running for the thrill of it thrill of it
Always pushing up the hill searching for the thrill of it
On and on and on we are calling out and out again
Never looking down I’m just in awe of what’s in front of me

Is it real now
When two people become one
I can feel it
When two people become one

Thought I’d never see
The love you found in me
Now it’s changing all the time
Living in a rhythm where the minutes working overtime

Catch me I’m falling down
Catch me I’m falling down

Don’t stop just keep going on
I’m your shoulder lean upon
So come on deliver from inside
All we got is tonight that is right till first light

I'm tired

I'm tired.
I'm so tired I nearly fall asleep when I make my 20-30 minute commute to work at 7am.
Ugh.

Dolla dolla billz, ya'll.

Department of Eagles - No One Does It Like You

Another day, another song to share with my internet record of life. I think that the band Department of Eagles either shares members or has some sort of guest singer guy from Grizzly Bear... I dunno, but I like this song. Again, I heard it on the current. In fact, when I heard it yesterday, I saved the link to the song information just so I could share it today. Enjoy.



Out in the morning come
You don't need to ask an alibi
And in the morning comes
You don't need to be so honest

And in the morning come
You don't need to ask an alibi
And in the morning comes
You don't need to breathe so easy

I laughed so hard I fell down
I cursed these lanes I walked on

No one does it like you
No one does it like you
I tried so hard
But no one does it like you
No one does it like you
But I tried so hard

I tried so hard
I tried so hard

Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks

I have heard a lot of Grizzly Bear on the current lately. It turns out they played at First Avenue a week or so ago. They remind me a lot of Tally Hall, mayhaps because the singer sounds a lot like Joe Hawley. Also, they have a retro style as well. I'd have to say this is my favorite song of theirs I have heard. I'm going to look into buying their albums.



Save up all the days
A routine malaise
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Would you always
Maybe sometimes
Make it easy
Take your time

Think of all the ways
Momentary phase
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Every time you try
Quarter half the mile
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Would you always
Maybe sometimes
Make it easy
Take your time

Another weekend, another LAN, another awesome time

Last weekend was another LAN weekend. I left from work at approximately 4pm on Friday afternoon and did not return to Minneapolis until 3pm on Sunday afternoon. There were a lot more people in attendance this month than in April (the last LAN I attended). I figure this is because it is now "summer vacation (whatever that means)."

We didn't play many games or watch many movies this LAN. In fact, people played a lot of the new game Prototype. Prototype is a single-player game... so, there wasn't much interaction for a great deal of the LAN. I played it for probably 5 hours or so. It is very enjoyable and it does not crash my computer. In the game, there is an disease outbreak in Manhattan, you have super powers, and apparently everyone is your enemy as you try to figure out what happened to you. I like it. If I get the chance, I will probably play the rest of the game.

Katherine also came to the LAN party, with The Ghost in tow. The Ghost is the name I gave to the computer I found on the curb. Fixed up with RAM, a new harddrive, and a fresh windows install, it works fairly well for most of the games that are played at the LAN parties. Granted, we play a lot of things like Starcraft and Diablo 2. Games from our childhoods. Le sigh. She seems to really enjoy the LAN and it gives her the chance to talk to nerdy boys and get away from Minneapolis. :-p

In other news, I took a different route to work this morning. Hennepin to 394W to 100S to 62W to 212. I left at about 7am and arrived here at 7:20am. Whoa. I am used to getting here in about 45 minutes. It is probably a combination of when I left and the route I took. I think I'll stick with this time schedule. This means I can probably leave work at about 4pm every day. I can dig it.

I hope to post another blog entry about grad school and what's been going on with all of that business. I also hope to post some of the new music I've been hearing on the radio on my way to work.

*goes back to comparing gerber files*

New Job n Stuff

I've been rather busy the last few days, but I've got a few minutes so I figured I'd write a little bit about my new job.

On Monday I started work as an intern for a company that designs, builds, and manufactures rapid prototyping machines. These machines are essentially ink jet printers that instead of giving you a 2D picture on paper give you a 3D plastic model. Pretty interesting stuff. They brought me on this summer after experiencing layoffs in February and needing more help with projects. In my first two days, I've received a whirlwind tour of the facilities and an overview of the technology. I'm still a little confused, but as I get more in depth with my work, hopefully things will become more clear.

The worst part about my job is the commute. I hate driving in the metropolitan area, and I generally avoid traveling at rush hour at all costs. The freeways are packed, the cars are occupied solely by the driver, people are on cell phones... I hate it. Unfortunately, I must drive what is normally a 25 minute drive every morning and every evening. I believe it is approximately 40 miles round trip. On my first day (Monday), I left early. The traffic wasn't terrible... but it was bad enough to cause me to slam on my brakes, giving the ambulance traveling behind me the opportunity to see if it liked how my bumper tasted. It gave it a lick, but found the paint unappealing. After assuring the ambulance driver that I was indeed okay, I made it to work. I also faced rush hour on the way home from work as well, needing to leave at precisely 5pm. One thing they never tell you is that "Minnesota Nice" does not apply when driving and when given the opportunity, drivers are asses. Highway 62E has a stretch of one-lane traffic due to road construction. Miles leading up to this juncture are slow going, sometimes crawling more slowly than my speedometer cares to register. Upon reaching the bottleneck, traffic moves freely at a normal 40-60mph. If everyone obeyed the merge signs properly and cordially, perhaps it would not be as much of a hold up.

Anyway, I'm done ranting. I've got to get to work!

pssst... LAN PARTY THIS WEEKEND YAY!

Today, on my way into work...

Today is my first day of work at my new job.

I left early this morning, not knowing what traffic would be like.

The roads were fairly packed, but at least we were moving.

Then somebody slammed on their brakes.

The ambulance driving behind me smashed into my car.

I was rear ended by an ambulance.

There is no permanent damage.

As long as you don't count the damage I inflict upon others when I tell them this story.

Bon Iver- Flume

I can't recall if I've posted about Bon Iver before. I saw them live just as he was hitting fame. In fact, it was approximately a year ago. He is amazing. I would definitely recommend the album For Emma, Forever Ago. Apparently, he wrote all of the songs one winter in his father's cabin whilst recovering from a breakup or something.

LIVE VERSION:



NOT LIVE VERSION:


LYRICS:
I am my mother's only one
It's enough

I wear my garment so it shows
Now you know

Only love is all maroon
Gluey feathers on a flume
Sky is womb and she's the moon

I am my mother on the wall, with us all
I move in water, shore to shore;
Nothing's more

Only love is all maroon
Lapping lakes like leary loons
Leaving rope burns
Reddish ruse

Only love is all maroon
Gluey feathers on a flume
Sky is womb and she's the moon

Paprika Opening Credits

Watched this movie for the second time lately. I really like this song, so I figured I'd post it here. Movie is definitely recommended. I'm going to look into watching more movies/anime by the same director.

Woe is June

A lot has happened since my last May-dated blog post.

1) I got a job! YAY! I will be working at Stratasys in Eden Prairie for 40+ hours a week this summer. I hate having a full time job over the summer. It seems that most people I know only have part time jobs, which makes hanging out, etc rather difficult. I'll make it work.

2) I'm no longer on academic probation. I'm not sure if I posted anything about this previously, but I received an email from the electrical engineering department regarding removing my hold for registration.

3) Shortly after receiving the email about my registration hold, I got another email. Again from the electrical engineering department. This one was somewhat of a shock to me. "Please remove Prof. Riedel as Adriana's PhD adviser and put Prof. Parhi, Director of Graduate Studies in its place. Thank you." [edited for search-ability] WHAAAT? This was news to me. I had spoken to my adviser regarding what my plans were. I would have thought he would email me in regards to dropping me as a student... but apparently not. Now I must decide what I'm doing. I'm also probably no longer have funding for next year.

In addition to these lovely occurrences, I am going to visit my family in Duluth this weekend. I haven't been to Duluth since Spring Break... Almost 12 weeks. It'll be nice to go home, even though it will be brief. When I come back to Minneapolis, my lazy lifestyle will be over and I will be a working girl once more.

Passion Pit - Sleepy Head

I keep hearing this song on the radio. I like it. The video is kinda cool too.



And everything is going to the beat
And everything is going to the beat
And everything is going –

And you said
It was like fire around the brim
Burning solid,
Burning thin the burning rim
Like stars burning holes right through the dark
You gave fire like saltwater into my eyes
You were an inch from the edge of this bed
I drive you back a sleepyhead, sleepyhead

They couldn't think of something to say the day you burst
With all their lions and all their might and all their thirst
They crowd your bedroom like some thoughts wearing thin
Against the walls, against your rules, against your skin
My beard grew down to the floor and out through the doors
Of your eyes, begonia skies like a sleepyhead, sleepyhead

Go ahead

Jorbs

It is now the end of May. School ended almost two weeks ago. I've still not found a job and I'm feeling that if I don't find one soon, I'll be stuck looking for a McJob or something of that nature to get me through the summer months.

Today, I have my third interview with a company. I've had a phone interview, a get-to-know-you interview, and today I'm meeting with engineers. I'm not feeling very good about it. I know this is a technical interview. I also know that I haven't thought much about electrical design since I graduated a year ago. Hopefully things will go well for me. I should still have the ability to tap my reserve of EE knowledge, but I don't know if I can be specific enough for this interview.

I also need to learn to be better with my money. My mom said to me yesterday "If you have extra money, you tend to go out and spend it." This is true. I'm horrible about knowing something could be used around the house and just going out and buying it. Yesterday, for instance. My mother paid for a month of my car insurance and said "Go out and buy a lawnmower or weed whacker." So I did. I also purchased grass seed and a hose... and a cat hair trimmer and a log holder. Then I went to the grocery store and bought pop and beans. Whoops. We do *need* a hose, etc. but I probably didn't need to buy it right now.

I'm not going to get paid as well as I have in the past at the job I am interviewing for today. Hopefully I can be a good girl and get some money reserves built up again. Either that or finally fix/pay off my car.

Oh the life of an adult.

End of semester, start of summer vacation

So, I haven't written a blog post in quite a while... so I figured I'm due for a big one.

I finished my math exam at 10am on Monday May 18th, after not having slept for more than 8 hours (total) in three days. It paid off. I got a B in my math class, and managed to pull of the coveted 3.3 GPA required to get out of academic probation! *pats self on back*

After sleeping for the rest of the day, Tuesday brought me an interview at a company that makes rapid prototyping machines. Hopefully I hear back from them soon. I could really use a job.

Wednesday brought me a hair cut. 10 inches. Donated. Free haircut. I look funny with short hair, but that's a-okay. It'll be very nice for the summar.

Played lots of DnD and SWSE last week as well. I'm really starting to get the hang of the whole role playing thing. I think I might buy myself a 3.5 DMG and read through it. Then I can begin to have some of the knowledge my new friends and boyfriend seem to be able to conjure up at a seconds notice. I need to nerd out.

On Friday, Moose and I went camping with Midget and Co. near Birchwood Wisconsin (the bluegill capitol of wisconsin... just in case you were wondering). A weekend filled with campfires, boating, some drinking, and lots of hookah smoking. It was very enjoyable and I thank Midget's family for their hospitality. Other than my small bout of stomach flu sunday evening, I had a great time!

It's now the end of another Tuesday in May. I'm sitting alone in my house waiting for my sister and her friends to arrive back from Duluth. I'll most likely be heading there tomorrow. I haven't been to Duluth since spring break... over 2 months. Maybe that means I'll enjoy it this time.

I'll keep the blogosphere posted regarding my job hunt. Anyone need an electrical engineering intern?! :-p

Wilco - You Never Know

I keep hearing this song on The Current and finally figured out what it was. Sounds a lot like the Beatles to me. More specifically, George.

Enjoy.

I'll write an update later.



Come on children
You're acting like children
Every generation thinks
its the end of the world

And all ya fat followers
Get fit fast
Every generation thinks it's the last
thinks its the end of the world

Yes dream down a well
There's a lone heavy hell
I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore
It's a feeling we transcend
We're here at the end
I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore
You never know

Come on kids
You're acting like children
Act your age
Put back the black metals and pearls
All ya sword-swallowers pull yourselves together
Every generation thinks its the worst
Thinks it's the end of the world

It's a secret I can't tell
There's a wish down a well
I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore
It's a long heavy hell
Super-size it by 10
I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore
You never know
You never know

It's a dear to transcend
Everyone here, at the end

I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore
You never know

Stop underestimating work

I need to stop underestimating the time it will take to get my work done.

I have approximately 32 hours to finish my math exam.

O_o

Cold marble on a hot spring afternoon

I'm currently sitting on the floor of Walter Library.
I love this building... the ornate wonderfully crafted ceilings and pillars and floors... I know it was built with the cheap labor of the nineteen thirties, but I'd like to think that it was built with love.
After today, I love this building even more. It is building number 042.

It's even more fun to sit on the floor of Walter when you're eating a salted nut roll and have your hair up in a ridiculous bun. (MY BOYFRIEND MADE ME DO IT!)

The marble feels good after playing two games of bowling and two games of air hockey with Moose. His supreme fro (complete with headband making the top portion stick up even further) won over my top/side bun 3/4 times. Spending time with Moose is always fun.

Now I'm waiting for a meeting to start. Ugh.

At least I'm getting some interesting stares.

That's your life

You can work on a class project and not like it. But your thesis, that's your life.

Weekend Bluez

I had another amazingly busy weekend. After a wonderful late night on Thursday (complete with Star Wars role play, X-Men Origins: Wolverine showing, and White Castle) I got up early to work on a project on Friday. After my meeting, Moose and I decided to go adventuring. He needed a shelf for his (not) broken projector and a cable for his xbox. I needed an excuse to avoid my homework. We decided to also try dinner at a place where you eat with your hands!! We ended up going to radio shack, the fabric store, axman, goodwill, menards, and pizza luce (not the original intended place of eating). We purchased: candy, airsoft guns, amazing posters, fabric for curtains, a couch, a coffee table, a shelf, a fan, a level, pizza, salad, and a brownie sundae. So... I now have an airsoft gun, a couch and a coffee table in my room. Also, I have an awesome poster of a man singing or yelling or something in my dining room. Perhaps I'll post pictures later.

After late night movies, I headed home at about 4am. I found that Mat and Tara were still up and wanted to go to Al's Breakfast. 6am corned beef hash. 7am bed. Ouch.

Saturday turned out to be equally enjoyable. During the day, Tara painted me up like a whore. That night, we had some chill blacklight fun in the basement and watched Howl's Moving Castle. Oh yeah, and I shot Tara in the neck with the airsoft gun and had to buy pizza pizza....

Sunday was Flight of the Conchords. In their amazingly short concert, they managed to make the obnoxious girl behind me laugh like a hyena. Overall: Amazing.

Upon coming home from FOTC, I realized I had again squandered my entire weekend. Lack of sleep and lack of productivity threw me into a funk. One more week of classes... One week of finals.... Everything due and done the 14th and 15th.

If I'm lucky, I'll be able to get my stuff done in the next 10 days. Don't look for me online or in video games. Hopefully I also won't go out and buy couches and airsoft guns. Glad I got that out of my system.... I'd so go do it again.

An Unfinished Poem found on my Laptop

I never finished this. I like it though.
------

I make the drive home.
Alone.
Trying to pay attention to the road,
to the music on the radio.
Dismissing the ache behind my eyes,
the emptiness in my heart,
the tingling urgency in my body.

I arrive ahead of schedule.
The dimly lit room reeks of cancer and piss.
My strong stable grandfather
Sits slumped in an old creaky wheel chair
with his bloated arm on a pillow.
His mouth mindlessly hangs open.
His eyes half shut and staring nowhere in particular.
I say hello and he says my name.
He knows me. He is happy to see me.
He gives me that little hello wink
I have grown accustomed to over the years.
He knows who I am and knows the relationship we have.
I smile at him.

His blank stare indicates his mind has again wondered somewhere.
In to the past,
into unconsciousness?
His mumblings sometimes indicate where he is.
He told us to make sure that taxi driver gets out of there.
We say yes and make no motion to fix anything.
He doesn't know where he is anymore.
He asks my mother where *she* is staying.
She tells him she's staying at home.
And he responds with a simple oh
and returns to his wide mouthed, droopy eyed stare into oblivion.
Something bothers him and he fidgits with his blankets
with the pillow under his arm,
with the rag in front of him.
He asks my mother what the button attached to his smock is for.
He doesn't know where he is.

I know where I am.
I'm at the nursing home where his mother,
my great-grandmother, lived the last years of her life
after Alzheimers at 80.
Ten years later, she died in this very nursing home.
Eight years later, we are back again.
The nurse says she knows my mothers face.
She explains.
Uncomfortable eyes shift to the floor,
and we are shushed to the hallway.
They must put my grandpa to bed
and change his cancer-soaked dressings.
The room again fills with the odor.

Once in bed,
my grandfather immediately falls asleep.
It is one of those wide-mouthed snoring sleeps.
He mumbles and twitches, but is essentially asleep.
His face bears the grimace of pain,
I pray he feels nothing.
He shouldn't have pain.
He's lived 78 full years.
He has spent the last 10 years golfing
bowling,
dancing,
enjoying himself to the fullest.
Who would think that what he loved most in life,
spending time outdoors with friends on the golf course,
would be his demise.
The sunshine...
The cancer...

Lemon Demon - Ode to Crayola

As I sit here in my bathrobe, in my sleep deprived state... this song popped in my head. So I share it with you, the non-existent reader! Vid isn't official, but it's pretty cute.



Outrageous Orange, Laser Lemon, and Jungle Green.
That's what I said.
Wild Watermelon, Midnight Blue, Atomic Tangerine...
Radical Red, Sky Blue, and Shamrock too,
and Gold so true it glows.
I love the Razmatazz, and Purple Pizazz,
and Razzle Dazzle Rose.

Every color's like an old friend.
Hot Magenta is a godsend.

I took the factory tour.
It really opened the door, and I at once became transfixed.
I know they're pieces of wax,
but I can never relax without my box of 96.

Crayola, Crayola's all that I know.
The colors, delicious, making a rainbow.
Crayola, I love you so.

I love them so much, every shade, every gorgeous hue.
It's no surprise
they're taking over everything that I say and do.
I'm gonna rise at dawn with no clothes on,
and color on my skin.
Colors of life and love from Heaven above,
absolve me of my sin.

I would wear them like a nightgown,
but they're getting kinda worn down.

I took the factory tour.
It really opened the door, and I at once became transfixed.
I know they're pieces of wax,
but I can never relax without my box of 96.

I love you Vivid Violet.
I love you Robin's Egg Blue.
I love you Screamin' Green,
and Purple Mountain's Majesty too.
I really love my babies
I really love my babies
I love my crayons and I love the way they taste

Crayola, Crayola's all that I know.
The colors, delicious, making a rainbow.
Crayola, I love you so.

Saul Williams - Black Stacy

When I'm angry or wanting to dance, I listen to Saul Williams. I forgot how good this song was. It's autobiographical, apparently. I had tickets to a Saul Williams concert last spring. I ended up skipping it to see my grandfather in the nursing home. Hopefully Saul will come to Minneapolis again.




I used to hump my pillow at night.
The type of silent prayer to help myself prepare for the light.
Me and my cousin Duce would rank the girls between one and ten
and the highest number got to be my pillows pretend.
Now I apologize to every high ranker.
But you taught me how to dream and so I also thank you.
I never had the courage to approach you at school.
We joked around a lot and I know you thought I dressed cool.
But I was just covering up all the insecurities that came bubbling up.
My complexion had
me stuck in an emotional rut, 'like the time you Flavor Flaved me and you called me
"Yo Chuck, they say
you're too black, man".
I think I'm too black.
Mom, do you think I'm too black? I think I'm too black.
Black Stacey.
They called me Black Stacey.
I never got to be myself 'cause to
myself I always was Black Stacey, in polka dots
and paisley, a double goose
and bally shoes, you thought it wouldn't phase me.
I was Black Stacey.
the preachers' son from Haiti
who rhymed a lot and always got the dance steps at the party.
I was Black Stacey.
you thought it wouldn't phase me, but it did 'cause I was just a kid.

I used to use bleaching creme, 'til Madame CJ Walker walked into my dreams.
I dreamt of being white and
complimented by you, but the only shiny black thing that you liked was my shoes.
Now, I apologize for bottling up
all the little things you said that warped my head and my gut.
Even though I always told you not to
brag about the fact that your great grand
mother was raped by her slave master. Yeah, I became
militant too.
So it was clear on every level I was blacker than you.
I turned you on to Malcolm X and
Assata Shakur in my three quarter elephant goose with the fur.
I had the high top fade
with the steps on the side.
I had the two finger ring, rag top on the ride.
I had the sheep skin, name
belt, Lee suit, Kangol, acid wash Vasco, chicken and waffle.

Black Stacey.
They called me Black Stacey.
I never got to be myself 'cause to myself I always was Black Stacey, in polka dots
and paisley, a double goose and bally shoes, you thought it wouldn't phase me.
I was Black Stacey. the preachers'
son from Haiti who
rhymed a lot and always got the dance steps at the party.
I was Black Stacey.
Youthought it wouldn't phase me, but it did 'cause I was just a kid.

Now here's a little
message for you.
All you baller playa's got
some insecurities too, that you could cover up, bling it up, cash in
and ching ching it up, hope no
one will bring it up, lock it down and string it up.
Or you can share your essence with us, 'cause everything about you couldn't be rugged
and ruff.
And even though you tote a
glock and you're hot on the
streets, if you dare to share your heart, we'll nod our heart to
its beat.
And you should do that, if nothing else, to prove
that a player like you could keep it honest and true. Don't mean to call your bluff but
mothafucka that's what I do.
You got platinum chain
then, son, I'm probably talking to you.
And you can call your gang, your posse and the rest of your crew.
And while you're at it get them addicts and the indigent too. I plan to have a whole army
by the time that I'm through to load their guns with songs they haven't sung.

Late-night Campus Walkin'

I walked through campus last night by myself at 1am. Generally, there are people out and about. On a Tuesday night at 1am during the second-to-last week before finals, it was deserted.

I walked in the glow of familiar lights, past buildings I have never explored completely, on sidewalks with cracks and bumps my soles know like friends... I've spent all of my time on this campus for five years. I came here a single, physically ill 18 year old. I'm still here as a single 23 year old with more aches and ailments to list, many of them seemingly in my mind.

The campus has changed significantly in five years. Most recently, a building disappeared! The jolly, cracked-paint, broken-windowed exterior of the science classroom building has been replaced by a large gaping hole. I'm not entirely sure what they're building.... The sidewalk that connected directly to the top story of that ancient temporary place of learning has been sawed off and a simple chain-link fence protects the passers by from the gaping hole of the construction site. I stood there last night for a good 15 minutes...Staring at the abyss where my favorite building once stood.

It wasn't a fancy building, but it had comfortable classrooms deep underground. They had ancient chemistry posters on the walls. The Science Classroom Building was built in 1940 and was never meant to be permanent... it made it all the way to 2009. The University is generally a temporary place for its residents. People spend 4, 5, sometimes 8 or 9 years here, but never much more. Teachers stay longer, but they too come and go. People pass through the halls of Walter and Coffman... they call this place home. They pay little attention to the place that grows and evolves around them. They walk through Northrop for what is possibly the first time since the first day of classes on the night they receive their diploma (holder). Then they leave. They rarely come back. 60,000 students here at the University, all destined to leave.

Colleges are like home towns. People have fond memories here... stories to tell, you name it. But if there aren't relatives or reunions pulling them back, there is no reason to let the idyllic vision in your head become tainted. Polish it. Make it sparkle.

I decided to stay here. Year 5 ticked off on the prison wall in my head. I love Minneapolis, and I love the university. Soon this place will no longer be my home. Will I leave and let my memories flourish? Will I stay and let things like the destruction of the Science Classroom Building taint the map in my mind?

I walked the rest of the way home. Alone... looking for the stars overhead. There weren't any.

He laid it down in simple words

He laid it down in simple words...
I can't.
I just can't.
You've given me nothing.
Produced nothing.
There is no indication
Your undergrad...
Must be
Your personal life.
Not cut out.
Bad grades.
It's over if you get a C.
No funding.
No job this summer.
Get good grades and give me papers.
Then everything will be back on track...
He didn't disagree when I said I felt like a failure.

R.I.P. Geocities

http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/geocities/geocities-05.html

I need to save my ancient geocities websites and host them on a different random webhost.

Jadadala

Another Epic Weekend

It turns out I had another epic weekend. It was another Basement LAN weekend. I spent a few days "fixing up" a computer for my roommate Katherine to use at the LAN party. Luckily, she really only digs the old games such as Diablo 2. Using a computer I found on the street corner (because for some reason, my old mother board is now completely fried), I put in new RAM and a hard drive and installed Windoze XP. Worked great for her, and she decided it was better than her current computer. Hard to believe as it only has about a 2GHZ AMD Processor in it O_o. The mobo is probably 5-6 years old, but I suppose her computer only has a 1.5GHZ Celeron or equivalent.

Anyway, we packed up our computers and fudstuffs into Paul's van (which he graciously let us use) and picked up Moose. We drove all the way to Glencoe, partaking in some giggly conversation. Moose was in the back, and I guess he couldn't hear what we were saying. Girlish banter generally explodes brains if at the right frequency. He was lucky... this time.

At the LAN, we played Counter Strike, and a little Diablo 2. Compared to the last LAN, this party was lame. Last time, the basement was absolutely FULL. This time, there were probably about 20 people there. Come 6pm, over half of them went to the bar upstairs. Altaris headed up there, and I joined him for a bit. Bars piss me off, in general. Something about people sitting in dark smelly places spending oodles of time and money on getting wasted, and because it's a bar, that's generally all they talk about. My anger towards them has a lot to do with growing up in a bar and alcoholism in my family. I don't *always* hate bars, and have enjoyed them on occasion with coworkers... But these trips did not involve copious amounts of alcohol and talking about alcohol. They involved deep-fried tater tots, two pitchers of beer between 8 people, and engineering talk.

After everyone left for the bar, the LAN became pretty lame. We played a little Warcraft 3, but eventually we ended up just watching movies. We watched The City Dragon (the horrible kung-fu porn-like movie I got at the dollar store), The Protector, and Ong Bak. Lots of actiony, kick-you-in-the-face type movies. Fell asleep around 5am, woke up around 11, had pizza ranch at noon, and left the LAN at about 2pm.

Drove back to Minneapolis and immediately fell asleep. I woke up at about 6:30 and walked to Coffman for another LAN party *nerdy giggling.* The Campus Gaming Society (or some other stupid name like that) was hosting a Left 4 Dead party. There were about 10 people there. Moose and I were the best ones in attendance, and it turns out that several of the people there had never even played L4D. Woo! We griefed them and managed to get a RAGEQUITTER IN PERSON! It was epic. Followed up by a great meal at Hard Times Cafe, this evening made up for the ill feelings at the Basement LAN.

Sunday, I slept all day and "played" Dungeons and Dragons in the evening. Moose is DMing a session, and they recently had a player drop. I'M A HALF-ORC BARBARIAN GRRAAARRR. I'm going to have fun with this!

Weekend over.

Week started.

Already Tuesday.

Too much to do, as usual.

Paper due Friday. Homework due Monday. Project stuff to work on.

I've already wasted 15 minutes typing this blog entry. I hope you enjoyed it. IT CAME AT A PRICE!!!!!! Now I don't get to eat lunch until 2pm! :-p

Little Joy- With Strangers

I keep finding myself listening to this band. I really like them and hope that they come out with another album. We'll see though, rumor has it The Strokes are working on their fourth album... and that would pull away the drummer of this group.

I think I just enjoy melancholy love songs.



I bet you’re wondering how I knew
that this would come to an end
He stole your heart from you
so you tossed me out to the wind
I keep pretending not to care
oh the winter scent in her hair
compels my hands to do
the things my heart wouldn’t dare
I’ll keep holding on to you
single years
perfecting lives with strangers
if only you
if only now

And in the twilight of the south
when fools are mistaken for men
this shadow suits me well
my regrets are faced in the end
I’ll keep holding on to you
single years
perfecting lives with strangers
if only you
if only now
I’ll keep holding on to you
single years
perfecting love with strangers
if only you
if only now

"You used me like an ashtray heart..."

ASHTRAY HEART

The Original (Captain Beefheart):


The Cover (The White Stripes):



You used me like an ashtray heart
Case of the punks
Right from the start
I feel like a glass shrimp in a pink panty
With a saccharine chaperone
Make invalids out of supermen
Call in a "shrink"
And pick you up in a girdle
You used me like an ashtray heart
Right from the start
Case of the punks
Another day, another way
Somebody's had too much to think
Open up another case of the punks
Each pillow is touted like a rock
The mother / father figure
Somebody's had too much to think
Send your mother home your navel
Case of the punks
New hearts to the dining rooms
Violet heart cake
Dissolve in new cards, boards, throats, underwear
Ashtray heart
You picked me out, brushed me off
Crushed me while I was burning out
Then you picked me out
Like an ashtray heart
Hid behind the curtain
Waited for me to go out
A man on a porcupine fence
Used me for an ashtray heart
Hit me where the lover hangs out
Stood behind the curtain
While they crushed me out
You used me for an ashtray heart
You looked in the window when I went out
You used me like an ashtray heart.

Nope.

You've been on a full RA; this means that you've been putting in 20 hours a week of research since September (so hundreds of hours of research). What have you done since mid-December? As far as I can tell, last week you wrote one generic paragraph (that I can't really decipher). Anything else? Have you assembled unimolecular/bimolecular versions of Brian's modules? Run simulations on any of our modules? Produced new filter designs (say an IIR with programmable coefficients)? Assembled filters with full module locking?

Nope.

(I think it's safe to say I won't be getting an RA position this summer.)

Captain Beefheart - Space Age Couple

This was my favorite song back in about 10th or 11th grade when I went through a really big Captain Beefheart stage. This is from one of my favorite Beefheart albums "Lick my decals off, baby." I'll keep the video for this song because I like the Jetsons.

Hey, I *do* like something other than Andrew Bird, I swear.

I want to get a Beefheart album for my newly acquired phonograph... excuse me... "Hi-fi." I'm currently listening to some sort of horrible Disco mix vinyl. Macho Man was on it.



Space-age couple
Why don't you flex your magic muscle?
Space-age couple
Why do you hex your magic muscle?
Space-age couple
Why do you hustle 'n bustle?
Why don't you drop your cool tom-foolery
'n shed your nasty jewelry?
Cultivate the grounds
They're the only ones around.
Space-age couple
Why don't you flex your magic muscle?
Hold a drinking glass up t' your eye after you've
Scooped up a little of the sky
'n it ain't blue no more.
What's on the leaves ain't dew no more.
Space-age couple
Why don't you jus' do that?
Why don't you jus' do that?

Grad School Thoughts (Part 5 of many)

It's been a while since I thoroughly complained about my situation. The beautiful Minnesota spring is doing little to alleviate the recent blow to my psyche. I failed take-home math exam I spent nearly 100 hours on. I mean F-A-I-L-E-D. Apparently there were several people in the class that achieved grades of 90s and 80s. I think there are about 10 people in the class.

I GOT A 58. Wooo!! I'm pretty sure that's the low score.

The prof went over it like this:
Class Participation: 10%
Homework: 30%
Midterm: 30%
Final: 30%
EXTRA CREDIT (which you will really have to work for): 10%

Of course, I've calculated it all out. Assuming I get A's in my other two graded classes this semester (I'm pretty sure I will), I need at least a B- in my math class in order to stay above the required 3.3GPA for the Ph.D. program here at the University of Minnesota. If I somehow went through all the paperwork to transfer into the masters program, I could scrape by with a C.

That's looking like my only option right now. As it is, grad school is just killing me. My sister tried to be nice to me today by telling me I'm just not used to the workload yet. That's bullshit. Undergrad classes have a great deal more workload than graduate classes, and I'm only taking 2 "real" classes. I think the material and the speed are just way above my head.

You know what I wish I was doing right now? Designing circuit boards. Writing microcontroller code.... writing reports on what components were chosen and how much the cost is going to be for 10,000 units. MY OLD JOB.

*sigh* I miss being an electrical engineer.

Crazy Weekend / Introspection

I think I just had one of the most amazing weekends of my life.

Star Wars role play, a party in Glencoe, meeting my new neighbors, and of course Andrew Bird *swoons*. Jam-packed action, mostly involving my good friend Altaris. We stayed up until 3 or 4 in the morning every night and slept until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Lazy AND jam-packed. Hard to beat.

Andrew Bird rocked my socks and my brain and my heart and pretty much melted all of my circuits for the two hours proceeding his concert. Not only were there calm melodies found on the CDs, but Andrew Bird and his now four-piece band (including himself) rocked out on several numbers. Many of his songs should only be listened to live. The sheer wall of sound produced by his band is amazing. Also, when the spinny speaker thingy (I may insert the name later if I can remember of it) is a great end to several songs. The sound is thrown out into the venue and you can feel its waves wash over you. *sigh*

Unfortunately, my schedule became skewed by all of the awesome. I couldn't fall asleep last night and I had to get up at 9:30 in order to get a good start on my day. Makes me think that I need to start going to bed early and getting into the lab early.

As much as I enjoy staying up late and talking to my friends, the fact of the matter is I get little work done. It was advantageous to me to stay up late when Tara and I were sharing an apartment, but now that I have my own room I have no reason to be up late. Granted, when I stayed up late with Tara and developed these bad habits of mine, I didn't have friends that were up until 4am and were willing to talk to me.

Look for me online less. Watch for me working more. Talk to me and hopefully find that I'll have a better outlook on my situation.

Gotta get this paper done by Thursday.

Andrew Bird - "Anonanimal"

I love this song. The lyrics, the backings, everything. I even like the subject matter. Andrew Bird, I love you.

Album cut:


Live cut:



I see a sea anemone
The enemy
See a sea anemone
And that'll be the end of me.

While the vicious fish was caught unawares
In the tenderest of tendrils
Underneath her tender gills

I will become this animal
Perfectly adapted to the music halls
I will become this animal
Anomalous appendages
A non-animal

Hold on just a second
Don't tell me this one you know
I know this one I know this song
I know this one I love this song
Hold on just a second
Don't tell me this one you know
I know this one I know this song
I know this one I love this song
I know this one

Underneath the stalactites
The troglobites lost their sight
Uh oh

The seemingly innocuous plecostomus
Though posthumous
They talk to us
They talk too much

See a sea anemone
The enemy
See a sea anemone
That'll be the end of me
Vicious fish was caught unawares
In the tend'rest tendrils
Underneath her tender gills and

I will become this animal
Perfectly adapted to a music hall
I will become this animal

Anomalous appendages
A non-animal

Andrew Bird - Not a Robot, But a Ghost

Another song from Noble Beast. This song is a collaboration between Andrew Bird and drummer Martin Dosh. I'm also a big fan of Minneappleton Dosh's solo work. This song is very rhythm-centric. I like it.



I run the numbers through the floor
here's how it goes: I crack the codes
I crack the codes that end the war
I crack the codes that end the war

I pushed a note under your door
here's how it goes: things come to blows
but we don't want this anymore
No we don't want this anymore
We don't want this anymore

I crack the codes, you end the war

I hear the clockwork in your core
time strips the gears till you forget what they were for
I push the numbers through your pores
I crack the codes
I crack the codes that end the war

How's my living, you can call
encrypted numbers on bathroom stalls
there's something burning it casts a pall
it's melting numbers right off the wall

I run the numbers through the floor
here's how it goes: I crack the codes
I crack the codes, you end the war

Andrew Bird- Oh No

I'm going to be posting a lot of songs from Andrew Bird's new album Noble Beast. I'm seeing him in concert on Saturday!! It's going to be a good time.

Here's my favorite song from the album "Oh No." This is the first song on the album.



in the salsify mains of what was thought but unsaid
all the calcified arhythmitists were doing the math
it would take a calculated blow to the head
to light the eyes of all the harmless sociopaths
oh arm and arm we are the harmless sociopaths
oh arm and arm with all the harmless sociopaths
calcium mines were buried deep in your chest
oh calcim mines you buried deep in your chest
oh no we're deep in a mine
oh no a calcium mine
so let's get out of here
past the atmosphere
squint your eyes and no one dies
or goes to jail
past the silver bridge, oh the silver bridge
wearing nothing but a one-sie and a veil
oh oh deep in a mine,
oh oh a calcium mine
arm and arm we are the harmless sociopaths
arm and arm with all the harmless sociopaths
in the calcium mines buried deep in your chest
oh the calcium mines buried deep in your chest
oh oh deep in a mine
oh no-- calcium mines oh no

What I need to know to be officially in the Ph.D. program.

The year after obtaining a masters or the second year of a Ph.D. program, a prospective doctoral candidate has two chances to pass what is known as a "Preliminary Written Exam." With this exam, you are officially part of the Ph.D. program. Your basic knowledge of your field is expansive enough and detailed enough to be all doctory and shit.

I had kind of forgotten about this. Then I received an email about the last exam for this year. It included this link: PhD Written Preliminary Reading List. So I printed it off... The topics are:

• Computer architecture
• Magnetics
• Computer Aided Design
• Software
• Optics
• Fields and Transmission Lines
• Power Systems and Power Electronics
• Communications
• Signal Processing
• Controls
• Analog and Digital Electronics
• Semiconductor Materials
• Semiconductor Devices

So basically, EVERY CLASS I'VE EVER TAKEN IN THE EE DEPARTMENT IS RELEVANT AND COULD BE ON THE EXAM!!

So, you have 4 hours, 14 questions, department supplied scientific, non-graphing, non TI-89 calculators. Questions are graded by the faculty that wrote the question. You must turn in the answers for three questions. Four questions may be turned in as well (top three scores will be taken into account).
3 pass, 0 fail = pass
2 pass, 1 fail = careful scrutinizing, possible failure.
everything else = automatic failure

Two chances. November and April.

I think I know how my summer is going to be spent!! Reading my old textbooks and taking old exams. That, of course, is assuming I pass my classes this semester :-p. Scary shit, man.

Bulimic Cats

"Evi puked all over the carpet this morning."

"Yeah, she always does that."

"Maybe you should put their food away, not have food out for them all the time. They don't need it."

"Yeah they do. Cats are like that. It's not like they're fat or anything."

"Well they're just eating and puking, eating and puking. You have bulimic cats and I don't like it."

Mom's Visit

My mom came to visit me this morning. After being delayed due to snow, she pulled into my drive way and called. After giving her the grand tour, I showed her my room. I commented on how one of my light bulbs had burnt out but that I wasn't able to figure out how to get the fixture apart. She of course found a stool and got it down. I ran and got some light bulbs and handed them to her. While taking out the burnt-out bulb, she dropped it. It hit her head and shattered all over the ground. I got the vacuum cleaner and started picking up the large pieces.

"Only here half an hour and I'm already vacuuming" she commented.

Next, we decided to go rug shopping, a hobby of hers. My dad always says that if she could, she would buy a new rug every day. We ventured to the Rosedale mall. After scoping out Kohls and JCPenneys, we decided to go to Herbergers. Mom decided that I needed a new bed spread, and then we could more easily match the rug to the rest of the room. When we finally found one I deemed "not too feminine" and of the colors of my choosing, my mother rushed to purchase it. We then went back to JCPenneys and found the PERFECT match in a rug. All told, I think she spent almost $400. "I'm not buying anything else for your new apartment" she said.



We came back home and set up my room. Looks great, dontcha think? Tara got back from her convention and we decided to go to dinner. Turned out that somebody from the neighboring house, with which we share a driveway, had parked in the end of the driveway, blocking my mother's car in. She cursed and said "They have a lot of balls to do that." Upon getting into the car she kept repeating "I wish I had my jacket." I finally told her I had one she could use in the trunk.

We decided to go to Kafe 421... quite possibly the best restaurant in Dinkytown. We stuffed ourselves. Salad, grilled bread, pasta... even a brownie and Greek coffee for dessert. Walking back to the car, my mom was glad she had my coat. It was windy, and the 3 block walk to the car seemed long. We got in the car and I handed her my leftovers while I started up and began driving. "OH MY GOD MY SHOE!!" she yelled. "What?" Tara and I both asked, giggling. "MY SHOE! MY SHOE IS BROKEN! MY FOOT HAS BEEN HURTING! THE STITCHING IS ALL GONE ON ONE SIDE!" She struggled to pick her foot up and look at her shoe. We just laughed and continued to drive home. "IT'S NOT FUNNY! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT SHOES?"

We got home, noticing the neighbor still had the driveway blocked. I walked to the other side of the car and opened the door for my mom (due to the broken locking mechanism). She sat there, looking at her crotch. "What? What is all over my pants?!" I looked at her and noticed her pristine black jeans were covered in some sort of brown liquid. "Adriana! Your food was leaking all over my pants! THAT'S THE LAST TIME I HOLD YOUR FOOD FOR YOU. Boy, am I glad I brought an extra pair." She finally got out of the car and I noticed there was balsamic sauce all over my leather seat as well. Laughing, I said "Mom, you were paying too much attention to your broken shoes. You probably were holding the food so that it could leak all over you." She angrily went inside.

Upon changing her pants, she said "My shoe fell apart, my pants got soiled? What next?"

We'll see. She's going to be here at least until tomorrow evening. I'll keep you posted.

Andrew Bird and the Bowl of Fire - "Eugene"

I've had this song stuck in my head since Wednesday. While "chillaxing" in our amazing basement living room, Tara, Dave, Moose, and I decided this was good music to smoke hookah to.

Bowl of Fire music is amazing. I wish that there were more videos like this on youtube. I also wish that there were more than three albums of this amazing band.

Did you know that Andrew Bird was the violinist in The Squirrel Nut Zippers? Now you do.




Studies have shown that we like sheep are prone
To sure fatal doses of malcontent through osmosis
But don't be sympathetic, just pass the anesthetic
'Cuz sheep are benign and on the young we will dine

Burn her pale blue shroud, and tread on her bones
The din of the boys club crowd, reveals we've always been clones
Oh this being true you know there's more than just two
In the cards are four aces so turn and shoot at twelve paces

Studies have shown that we like sheep are prone
To sure fatal doses of malcontent through osmosis
But don't be sympathetic, just pass the anesthetic
'Cuz sheep are benign and on the young we will dine

Burn her pale blue shroud, and tread on her bones
The din of the boys club crowd, reveals we've always been clones
Oh this being true you know there's more than just two
So tie up your laces for the gene pool race of races

Paper woes

Turns out neither of my papers from last semester were accepted.

If you are interested in reading the latest one, you can find it here.

Cheese on cheese with a side of cheese, please.

Here I sit. I'm eating crackers that I bought at the lunch cart downstairs. They are cheese crackers with cheese spread between them. Pretty tasty. Pretty bad for me. They are also very hard to eat quietly. *CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH*

If I would have bought food when I intended to, maybe I would have gotten a good salad or something. Unfortunately, I ran in to my adviser today. I would say this is the first time I've seen him in almost a month. He was wearing his usual leather jacket. The sleeves are slightly too long and he always hangs his arms at his side like they do not work. He looked tired. Hell, he always looks tired. He wants to meet with me. I said sure...

What am I going to say?! I need a brainstorming session. I need... ugh. I need sleep. And maybe more crackers.

In the mean time, I will continue to work on my math exam. I'm debating whether or not I should try to catch the professor in his office today. There is one question that is giving me particular difficulty... and I think everyone is having the same troubles. I'm going to be up all night. Maybe I'll actually go to Al's Breakfast in the morning. One things for sure, the meal I have there won't be as delectably cheesy as these crackers. Unless you can breed cheese and get eggs from it.

Ok, I'm done talking about crackers. I promise.

Burning Anguish

I have a confession to make: I've never burned a DVD. That's right. I spend the majority of my waking hours in front of a computer, and I've never burned a DVD. This weekend, I made the resolve to learn how and burn something to try on the DVD player in the living room.

I recently got a new computer, at least, almost all of the parts are new. I had to switch from my normal IDE drive to a new SATA drive. I found a Nero disk in my box-o-computer stuff and installed it. For some reason, there were no DVD options. I chalked this up to the fact that it was a watered down version they send out with new drives. I grumbled and struggled further with the program.

I finally found a really great program called DVDFlick that is amazingly easy to use. I put together the necessary files and embarked on the long process for properly encoding it to be played in a DVD player. For a half hour, I sat and scratched my head about why it wasn't giving me the option to choose a DVD drive, why my drive wasn't working... basically what was going on in general.

I bend down and look at my drive. DVDROM. MY DRIVE... IS NOT A BURNER.

I feel like a moron. I'm going to have to install my IDE expansion card and install the other drive, or maybe just order a new SATA burner. It's not like they're expensive. I wasted a lot of time for nothing. Well, what's new?

And that is my story of Burning Anguish.

This campus is just too big for the both of us.

Given an opportunity, I call or text my sister and ask her if she'd like to get food with me. Today, I had an opportunity, and plans were made. She had 30 minutes between classes, and I suggested that I buy some pita chips and hummus and we eat them together by her classroom. This sounded like a fantastic idea. I purchased some of the aforementioned ingestables from the sandwich-cart/thing at the electrical engineering building and also bought a bottle of Pibb Xtra. Little did I know that the next 20 minutes would be filled with absolute confusion and mayhem.

"Yeah, my class is in third floor ...aaake"
"Where? Tate?"
"Yeah."
I shrugged, thinking That's not very far from here... but continued over to Tate, the physics building. I didn't see her, so I called and asked which side she was on.
"Oh, I'm over by the ...in..amn..."
"You're by the Tin Man? Well, come over here, I'll stay where I am by the bike rack."
"Ok"
I stepped outside the physics building. I could practically see the tin man from where I was standing, how could I have missed her? I called her back.
"Where the heck are you, I haven't seen you walk by"
"I'm up on the third floor."
"Of Tate?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll head over there... but I'm staying on the phone with you"
"Kay."
I walked back to the physics building, mumbling to Tara about how I didn't see her. I walked through the WHOLE third floor of the physics building.
"You have a class up here?"
"Yeah in the computer lab."
"Uhh..."
I paused. There is nothing but OFFICES on the third floor of Tate.
"Tara, are you sure your class is in the physics building?"
"Physics building? No, my class is in ... aake"
"Tate?"
"No, PEIK."
"Gaaaah. I thought you said Tate. You're all the way across campus"
"Well, I've got 10 minutes, head over here."
"Nooo we wouldn't get the chance to eat anything, it takes almost that long to walk over there."
"Okaaay. When are you going to be home?"
"NEVER."

This campus is too big, with too many buildings with similar sounding names. Especially when using a big smart phone with poor reception.

At least these pita chips are tasty.

Andrew Bird - "Tenuousness"

"Tenuousness" is from Andrew Bird's new album Noble Beast. This video is great, the song is great... Much of the lyrics don't make sense(hell even the title is a weird Andrew Bird contraction, see Imitosis for another example), but that's normal for Andrew Bird. Also, great video (albeit not official).



Tenuous at best was all he had to say
when pressed about the rest of it, the world that is
from proto-Sanskrit Minoans to Porto-centric Lisboans
Greek Cypriots and and harbor-sorts who hang around in quotes a lot

Here's where things start getting weird
while chinless men will scratch their beards
and to their minds a sharpened axe
is brushed upon the Uralic syntaxes

Love of hate acts as an axis
Love of hate acts as an axis
First it wanes and then it waxes
So procreate and pay your taxes

Tenuousness
Less seven comes to three
Them, you, us plus eleven thank the heavens for their elasticity
And as for those who live and die for astronomy

Know when to stand or when to sit
Can't stand to stand can't stand to sit
Now who would want to know this

Click
Click
Click

Who wants to look upon this
Who wants to look upon this
Pray tell

Who wants to look upon this
Who wants to look upon this
Pray tell
Pray tell

Tenuousness
Less seven comes to three
Them, you, us plus eleven comes just shy of infinity
and as for those who live and die from numerology